Ant from Mars |
stuff, some edgy, some dull, some offensive and inappropriate, occasionally a good self-amusement, and often juvenile and absurd (that's where I'm headed)
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Martialis Heureka - More Bunkery from the Professors running Amokery!
Monday, June 27, 2011
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Spleen has come up with a plan to improve Education.
Spleen has come up with a plan to improve Education. |
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Item Two - Truth Trumped by Tireless True Trust, again.
l-r Candy Sparkler; Merrily Inhiding; Groin Groan; Bambi Nutz;: Nex Twife |
Item One - Lonely Humans...and bad case of Grog Goggles!
"What do ya say to a little DNA?" |
Thursday, June 23, 2011
If We are the Product of our Experiences, then...?
Hmmmmm..... |
Patricia Churchland, today's featured scientific run-amok-ery: a woman Philosopher!!
Her E-Harmony Pix |
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
How much time do we spend in school on average?
Can I go to the Bathroom? |
Monday, June 20, 2011
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Perfume and Cologne scents Thomas Edison devloped that never made it
Happy Father's Day All! |
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Friday, June 17, 2011
Nemesi
If nearly everyone has a nemesis and there are 6 billion people on the planet, even if a nemesis worked with more than one customer, there is a good chance that I am someone's nemesis. Hardly anyone admits to having one nor talks about their nemesis, nor admit that they are a nemesis, and I don't know if I am a nemesis or nemesi or not, and if so to which customer(s) I am a nemesis. If you have any information about the state of my nemesitude contact me, please. I sure would like to know so I can be the best nemesis I can be.
Autredamus Predicts - Closest Star to Earth, Betelgeuse will go SuperNova and then go mega Ka-Boom!.
I'm joking, Dumass! |
another Quicktrain from Autredamus, the Other Seer
When snow falls at the meridian
And another sun comes out and nae go inagain
Anxious punters lose hope, yet they can winagain
Invest in SPF 500 till the numbers go numb
In Ray Ban for those who get ready to scrum
And in Popsicles, slurpies, HVAC,
and ice cream flavor of vanilla rum.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Kurt Godel's Proof of the Existence of God, with Commentary by WJ Clinton
The actual proof was posited in Modal Logic but can be summarized, as by io9.com "God can either necessarily exist, or necessarily not exist. If God is an all-powerful being, and he exists, he necessarily exists in all possible worlds. If he doesn't exist, he necessarily doesn't exist in any possible worlds. It is not possible to say that God does not exist in any possible world. No matter how slim the chance is, God might exist. That means that God can't necessarily not exist. Since the choices are either God necessarily does exist, or necessarily doesn't, and we have eliminated the possibility that he necessarily doesn't, the only possibility left is that he necessarily does." (To exist is "is" or "it exists" to some. There are times however when "is" doesn't mean what you think it means. I'm not sure how that affects the proof. WJC)
I was just about to say that! |
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Scientists Race to Slow Down Time
I'm telling you the scientists are running amok! Now I read that they have created a new type of matter just so they could slow down the speed of light to that of a mini-van in traffic. This raises all kinds of questions in my mind, number one being WHAT good is that? Why a mini van, why not a motor scooter or a bicycle? Why not a cheetah? or a greyhound or a filly? My granmaw drives at 50mph. I drive a sedan that goes more than 38 most of the time; am I going to be driving in the dark now? Einstein (another pretender) said that nothing can travel faster than the speed of light. If so then everyone is gonna be late for work @ 38 mph. Cops will be at a disadvantage in hi speed chases. If Einstein is wrong about this, what else did he screw up? By him, in order for time travel you gotta go near the speed of light. If I can time travel with the change in the speed of light, I'm gonna go back and let the air out those scientists tires before they get to work. The intelligent design folks are looking better and better all the time.
Friday, June 10, 2011
Six tips for an Improved Life (Warning: not to be read when depressed, tired, ill, busy, content, bored, or driving.)
- Run the Day “Either you run the day or the day runs you.” ~Jim Rohn (and if I have the Runs what do I do?)
- Progress is Progress “Even if you fall on your face, you’re still moving forward.” ~Victor Kiam (Into the ground is NOT particularly "forward", is it. I call it moving down.)
- Expect Problems “Expect problems and eat them for breakfast.” ~Alfred A. Montapert (I didn't realize that it was so simple. Tomorrow's bkfst - bipolar wife-donuts; arthritic knee soup; hate on toast; and a cup of hot zero fuggin money.)
- Get into Action “Do you want to know who you are? Don’t ask. Act! Action will delineate and define you.” ~Thomas Jefferson (well, let's reflect on today's actions - I'm a jag-off, screw-up, whiner, pervert, deadbeat and layabout, so far at least what I'm willing to admit. maybe tomorrow will be better.)
- Think Bigger “Go big or go home. Because it’s true. What do you have to lose?” ~Eliza Dushku (we're nearly on the same wavelength. I'm going for a big fug-gin pizza and a quart of Jack; then I'm going home.")
- Balance “Follow your dreams, work hard, practice and persevere. Make sure you eat a variety of foods, get plenty of exercise and maintain a healthy lifestyle.” ~Sasha Cohen (forgot to add: say your prayers, stay in line, pee in the bowl, fart downwind, use a prophylactic.)
From article by Mr Self-Development. He’s written many, including “Are you addicted to self-development?” Comments are mine.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
The Golden Ratio - Phi - What is it Good for? Absolutely Nuttin.
Supposedly since creation of the universe (4000 years ago, yes) there is a number that determines how a sunflower’s seeds grow, how the veins arrange on leaves, it determines the path a hawk takes when diving at it’s prey, it is echoed in the breeding habits of rabbits and it even determines how the spirals in a spiral galaxy are laid out. This is just the tip of this Devil-induced hysterical use of 1.6180339887 οr Phi (). As its also used in music, geometry, writing, industry, finance, blah blah. Its also used in art and painting. Many times I've debunked the idea, by making lousy paintings, even though I followed the Golden Rule.
Security Update - Immediate Action Required!
Another case of one step forward two steps back. I'll be glad to assist you - for a fee. |
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Does Research and Study Prove that The Devil, Beealzbub Himself, Invented Science?
"Don't Think - Just Believe!" |
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Pomeration
Is that I’m never the same
In church I sometimes pray, shouting them out
at odd times, when its silent or just about
It wakes up the dead and sinners they say.
If I knew that before I might have done it for fun
And in the future I still may.
I will go but no one can predict which way
Or what I will do
Or what I will chew
Unrelated in every way to best that we knew
I eat hot dogs with a spoon, ditto burgers, linguine, the occasional bear claw
I grind up potatoes and sip with a straw
Naw I absorb it through my pores
My shoes I carry over my shoulder
And barefoot I hop from boulder to boulder,
Naw, not now that I’m older,
I pay someone to take the job over.
My heroes are all skinny, too tall, or too fat
They come to visit but don’t know where I’m at,
Naw, don’t know where I am
I in the bread drawer, camouflaged in jam.
When they get hungry they find me so easy
But turn away when they see that I'm sneezy.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
More Questions Face the Vatican as Friar Twins Die on Same Day
NY-born twin friars die on same day at age 92. Allegedly identical twins Julian and Adrian Riester were both Friars and worked most recently at St Bonaventure University, dedicating their lives to Service. There are a number of questions raised by their passing, though. If they were so close, then why did Adrian not attend Julian's Funeral? Was it related to his fear that his brother, slightly shorter and never more brilliant than Julian, was truly a clone, always hogging the limelight, or in this case the humility? The Vatican has refused to comment and we all know what that means.
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Exotic Wildlife!
In a related story to Rat Eating Plant scientists have been encouraged and continue to look for a pitcher plant that will devour mean people and creeps, but not skateboarders and pets.
Keep Your Home Pest FreeThis Summer
A Couple of These In the Backyard and One or Two out Front |
Friday, June 3, 2011
Safety Tips for Summer Vacation Fun - Stay Clear of Doppelgangers!
So I'm going to Hell then? |
Ben X, not a pain reliever for inflamed parts but a movie.
I recently watched a Belgium movie titled "Ben X", which I thought was pretty good except they didn't speak no English so I had to stop it every 3 seconds to look up what the words meant. It was worth it or as they say in Brussels "super". One line I liked was this "you have to learn to feel before you can feel love," And to conclude I give you this Dutch phrase "tot ziens!" Btw, they speak 3 official languages in Belgium so nobody really knows what the hell anyone is saying, so I want to visit there.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
My Aphorism Muse is Working Overtime
"Isn't it kind of stupid to put a sign on your fence or front door that says "Beware of Dog", if you don't have a dog, in an effort to keep away burglars and solicitors. Wouldn't it make more sense if you were going to lie about a warning, to put up a sign that said something like: "Danger, Domicile Under Bio-Hazard Quarantine" or"Caution, E-Boli Outbreak" or "Warning - Radioactive Waste Dump Site" or "Anthrax for Sale" or "Come On In - the Poetry Reading is About to Begin."
Danger Will Robinson! |
Aphorism Related to My Body and My Soul
My Body and My Soul
"My body is pretty well worn out. What does that say for my Soul?" - Me
"A Soul's health is determined by how much dirty laundry has been thrown into the basket and still lays there, metaphorically speaking. - Me
"My body is pretty well worn out. What does that say for my Soul?" - Me
"A Soul's health is determined by how much dirty laundry has been thrown into the basket and still lays there, metaphorically speaking. - Me
Do I Need to Wear a Prophylactic to Graduation?
Graduate, don't terminate (unless u r a pathogen) Dr David Bishai and a team from Johns Hopkins studied graduation ceremonies to determine the likelihood that pathogens would be transmitted from all the hand shaking that goes on during the ceremony.
"0.019% probability of acquiring a pathogen per handshake". Should I be worried? Naw, I always carry protection. |
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Job Opportunities Down (for bearded men in Brazil). Alaska is another story altogether.
Brazilian researchers studied "bearded men". In Study 1 beardedness was associated with older age, greater responsibility, and leftist political ideas. In Study 2 Brazilian personnel managers who made hiring decisions at different companies in the city of Sao Paulo, preferred clean shaven over bearded, mustached, or goateed men. Bearded ladies fared considerably better in both studies.
Merde! I thought it made me look distinguished |
"Is there some place I can hang this up?"
"You don't have a soul. You are a soul. You have a body." - Garrison Keillor gets credit but it's an ancient concept.
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