Does Research and Study Prove that The Devil, Beealzbub Himself, Invented Science?

"Don't Think - Just Believe!"

My first official act as newly hatched Theoretical Theorist, is to put my Imprimatur on some strange happenings, new discoveries and beliefs, and the final debunking of Science (hereafter expressed as Schmience).  Let me lay in front of you the items of interest.  In the next few days I will scare the bejesus out of you with my ideas.  These include such things as "Scientists discover new matter." "Scientists slow the speed of light to that of a minivan."  "Scientists posit idea that some black holes are older than time itself."  "Scientists create ear from arm skin cells." "Scientists discover alien Sun no hotter than a cup of coffee.".  "Scientists clone sheep; raise frog from tadpole; discover hobbit skeletons; etc.  And plenty more ideas that will have us racing to put the millions of science "facts" back into the Theory Drawer once and for all!