My Aphorism Muse is Working Overtime

"Isn't it kind of stupid to put a sign on your fence or front door that says "Beware of Dog", if you don't have a dog, in an effort to keep away burglars and solicitors.  Wouldn't it make more sense if you were going to lie about a warning,  to put up a sign that said something like: "Danger, Domicile Under Bio-Hazard Quarantine" or"Caution, E-Boli Outbreak" or "Warning - Radioactive Waste Dump Site" or "Anthrax for Sale"  or  "Come On In - the Poetry Reading is About to Begin."

Danger Will Robinson!

Take a Break, Do Not Worry, This is Not a Poem; it's a Fresh Aphorism

"A bureaucracy is a place where you are far more likely to get fired if you come in late than if you deliver sub par service to your customers."  - Me

A Tie is Required Cause We're Gonna Tie You to Your Desk

Poet Continues on Quest to Find Rhyme for Orange!

"Nice Try" says the orange.

i have a sponge
i keep it in the fridge next to the orange
the only reason i bought it was,
to nearly make the rhyme that Never was,
and as best I can to establish
a systematic plan for washing the radish.

Aphorism Related to My Body and My Soul

My Body and My Soul
"My body is pretty well worn out.  What does that say for my Soul?"  -  Me 

"A Soul's health is determined by how much dirty laundry has been thrown into the basket and still lays there,  metaphorically speaking. -  Me

Do I Need to Wear a Prophylactic to Graduation?

Graduate, don't terminate (unless u r a pathogen) Dr David Bishai and a team from Johns Hopkins studied graduation ceremonies to determine the likelihood that pathogens would be transmitted from all the hand shaking that goes on during the ceremony.

"0.019% probability of acquiring a pathogen per handshake".
Should I be worried?  Naw, I always carry protection.

Job Opportunities Down (for bearded men in Brazil). Alaska is another story altogether.

Brazilian researchers studied "bearded men".   In Study 1 beardedness was associated with older age, greater responsibility, and leftist political ideas. In Study 2  Brazilian personnel managers  who made hiring decisions at different companies in the city of Sao Paulo, preferred clean shaven over bearded, mustached, or goateed men.  Bearded ladies fared considerably better in both studies.

Merde! I thought it made me look distinguished

"Is there some place I can hang this up?"

"You don't have a soul. You are a soul. You have a body."  - Garrison Keillor gets credit but it's an ancient concept.

Actual Photo Of  Soul and its Body.  What'd you think it'd look like? and BTW this is the image of a soul right after Sunday morning Services.  Next Saturday morning it will be significantly dimmer, if the body gets a date for Friday night.