Ahh, the Wilderness!

Heyo Mate, Great day to be Out in the Wilds, Eh!

Pediafiles Prohibited

Wikipedia, the online encyclopedia, has been criticized as being nothing more than a depository for  "facts by consensus" or "truth by committee".  These jabs may be accurate and deserved but seems to me that for a population little concerned with facts, realities, details, subtlety of knowledge, or thinking too much, Wikipedia is truth.  - and probably more than we deserve, ME.

Most Overrated Genius Ever? old Series, Candidate #1

Candidate 1: Johannes Kepler, astronomer, physicist, mathematician and MURDERER? The guy on the right may have been poisoned by JoJo, who may have wanted to steal his mentor's data. Investigation is currently underway. Both these guys are creepy looking. If mustaches could kill, they'd both be dead.

Overrated Genius No 10

Thomas Edison, inventor of the light bulb, the phonograph, and the video camera, among other devices and processes. He had over a thousand patents in his name and his inventions changed the nature of life and communication in the world. Unfortunately he promoted his video camera in Sweden as the "Pornograph" (also changing the nature of the adult entertainment industry), thus making him a candidate for #10 on the overrated genius list. He is also rumored to have coined the marketing term "Gentleman's Club", which he often frequented in disguise. His famous quote (seen left) is a derivation of the original which went "Genius is one percent inspiration, ninety-nine percent sweaty dancing girls!"

No 7 Candidate - Not Jack Daniels

Alexander Graham Bell

At his Canadian estate in Nova Scotia, he experimented with composting toilets. This in itself was enough to dim the luster of his amazing accomplishments. It's equivalent to fumbling the football on the one yard line when you're about to score. A genius who plays with excrement! We were going to throw a party in your honor, Mr Bell, but we decided not to invite you, cause....you know, your latest work. Ewww!

Bob Newhart figured out a way to go back in time to be a genius writer. Evidently he traveled back and forth but never told anyone about his secret discovery. As Edgar Alan Poe, a genius writer, he'd write some gags and then travel forward so he could deliver them on stage as Bob. Mr. Newhart declined the opportunity to explain how he was able to time travel, or why it was necessary to go back in time to write gags. His secret stays with him for now.

Trick or Treating, Halloween 1998

Edgar, the inventor of the mystery; writer of many kinds of fiction including horror, sci fi, short stories, etc.as well as essays, was said to be a drunk who died of alcoholism. This is in dispute. One theory is that he was tired of writing and wanted to be a stand-up comic. Since he was familiar with the occult, he died in order to come back as a great comedy genius, Bob Newhart. Throw a mustache on Bob and take away the smile...eerie.

Being that I am afflicted with MPD I've determined that I myself represent my biggest fan base. So I need to go with the demographics and give them, me, what they, he, she wants. I am deep in self-study and have been ever since I discovered my interesting parts. So far with my self-study, buddhist teachers, and detailed police reports, I have discovered 17 personalities within me. I believe I will uncover some more once I find where they are hiding.

The interesting phenomenon is that 12 of these personalities are very similar to each other, virtually copies of one another and they compete for equal time.

My Papa's Waltz

by Theodore Roethke

The whiskey on your breath
Could make a small boy dizzy;
But I hung on like death:
Such waltzing was not easy.

We romped until the pans
Slid from the kitchen shelf;
My mother's countenance
Could not unfrown itself.

The hand that held my wrist
Was battered on one knuckle;
At every step you missed
My right ear scraped a buckle.

You beat time on my head
With a palm caked hard by dirt,
Then waltzed me off to bed
Still clinging to your shirt.

Overrated Genius Candidate No.2

Candidate 2. Mark Twain/Samuel Clemens*. Notice that the big floppy mustache motif continues. One of the most read and respected American Writers of all time, famous even in his lifetime He was at times a cranky disorganized geezer, writer, and thinker. His editors should get half the credit. He wrote criticisms of contemporaries such as Jane Austen, James Fenimore Cooper, and George Eliot, for $ of course, in the "tooth and claw" style of literary criticism that he invented. He also invented the "Albert Einstein Look".

*He is not known to have murdered anyone and he had many honorable qualities. He reportedly combed his hair with a spoon.

BIll Gates goes #2 and makes millions doing it!

Bill is now #2 (on the world's 10 wealthiest list).

"In one regard poor people are very lucky.  When there's a down turn in the market, as a wealthy person I could lose millions in a single ordinary day.  Po folks would lose pennies, if anything.  You see, everything evens out!" - Me*

*(boy! do I feel lucky!)

 

Sex, Jennifer Anniston, Armageddon, Angelie Jolie, Pope Leo XIV, Science, the Event Horizon, Viagra, Long Life and the Antler Hunter

The Antler Hunter enters a new area today, the RAVINE, looking for more finds.  Oh, the title of this post has nothing to do with much, just some keywords to get some google hits, ha ha.  Should be titled "the Antler Hunter enters the RAvine, poor maroon."

maybe i will find the good looking Ukraine chick down there, i hope

requiem for St Valentine Day, revised

Love Paen, revised


give me a girl with a lisp,
that smells of bread baking
and walks with a limp
a turned in foot,
a hitch and a list in her gait
behind the boyos gather,
hope dream and wait
her nose and its bend
so the rise of her distant blue eyes
to look past her leavened lips
in a whisper
words flow slowly
from ideas two flights up
to close slow attentive pace
her thoughts
her breathing
her joints
her held-in ideas,  in a rhythm
like i've never seen
with the speech
the gaze
the gait,
she has me if she wish.