5 Simple Tips for a Longer Life

Stay away from Mean People& Monsters.

I was thinking this morning on my way home from Mick's ye Olde Shoppe of Swill & High Power Beer that the popular web sites always have tips how to be beautiful, wealthy, happy, smarter, thinner, etc.  So I'm starting a feature with tips of my own. 
1. Don't spend the night carousing and then try to drive
home.
2. See pix
3. If near danger, monsters, germs or PO-PO, run away quickly.
4. Corollary to 3, choose your slowest mates to hang with.
5. Marry a Shrew.  Your life will become nearly endless (suffering and misery).
Bonus Tip:  Marry a SLOW Shrew.