Mondo Fail

My Act is ruined!

OOPS!

AWW SHIT!

Wisdom of the Day

Existence consists of three absolute truths:  1.  We live in a world of opposites;  2. Everything is changing, always; and 3.  Hell, I can't remember this one.  If you know it give me the answer please...

Gimme More!

Ah, the five hour energy drink

Things are looking Up!

I'm looking forward to the future.

Je me suis fatigue.

No Point Intended - post for post's sake

Great Bar Bets throughout History

Smokey Walter

Legend has it that Sir Walter Raleigh once bet Queen Elizabeth I that he could measure the weight of smoke. To win the bet, Raleigh placed a piece of tobacco on one end of a balancing scale. He then filled his pipe with an equal amount, smoked it, and carefully tapped the ash onto the other end of the scale. The difference in weight, he said, was the weight of the smoke.

Will Einstein go SuperNova? Einstein Miffed as CERN Collider Challenges His Theory

Scientists at the CERN Super-Collider claim that they've found a particle that traveled at a speed faster than the speed of light, which is something that Einstein maintained was impossible.  The final verification is not yet complete and there are other possible explanations.  Al has been mum on the issue, mostly. 

Spokesman for His Estate issued this Photo in Response.

The Folly of Blind Faith in Science - Myth Debunked!!

The Great Truth Fixer

Truth can be relative sometimes, and subjective..  Something true today may not be true tomorrow or yesterday.  Plenty of famous examples exist of discovery of new truths by people like Galileo, Einstein, Tesla, Curie, Darwin Copernicus, Archimedes, and numerous others.   But a lot of this is Rubbish.  Recently the CERN Particle Accelerator discovered a particle that traveled faster than the speed of light, thereby replacing Einstein's truth that nothing can do that, with a new truth that yes something can go faster than light.  I think about other changes in truth, like Pluto being demoted, like eggs being good for you after all, etc.  Stuff changes every other day..  The MYTH is that scientists discover the truth.  The truth is they are just the first to notice the change.  E.g. Until recently particles were not able to travel faster than light but are we so arrogant as to think that will never change.  Do we think all those tiny particles were just lazing about, smoking weed, sipping tea?.  No way.  They were working on their speed.

From the Autre Journal of Experimental Philosophy - "Cure for the Blues?"

Better Science for the Betterment of Humankind

A double blind, random, time exempt, indoor study of 100 test subjects was conducted over a 14 month period to examine properties of and decrease in properties of various bummer Philosophical bents, including: ennui, boredom, malaise, languor, anomie, funk, doldromness, apathy, insouciance, lassitude, and dispassion. Twas a 3 part (1,2 &3) procedure which went 1.  assessment (using the non paradoxical and paradoxical cat in a box trick) and classification, 2.  experimental treatment, and 3. do over.  Summary of results from lead researcher Lucky Galileo, "This study was a great gig  We got to wear lab coats and collect a bunch of something called "data".  Results:  for statistical analysis call the office and ask for Melanie or Chester.   If you can't understand what Chester is saying ( he is Scottish) then ask to speak to Melanie.  She can send you some.

Caption this Pix and win a Prize

The Other Seer , on Call - Autredamus Predicts!

Unlike the Birds, we will Never see the back of our own head!

Joshua Knobe Pulls Philosophy Out of Well, All is good again

Declining enrollments; aging academics; dwindling support from anyone, Philosophy as a linch pin in the Ivory Tower, was slowly crumbling like a sandstone gargoyle.  Until Joshua Knobe!! Here's the full and mangled report. 20 years ago the American Philosophical Association called an emergency concave to Save Philosophy from careening hell-bent to obscurity.  Hundreds of savants and sages met, discussed, had a drink, and proffered new directions for Philosophy as a Discipline (and an Industry).  Thousands of ideas were narrowed to just a handful.  They would take a vote.
1.  Sell Candy Bars
2.  Appeal to the higher ideals of Congress
3.  Start a Unicorn Breeding Farm
4.  Produce a reality show "the Real World - is it Really?"
5.  Merge with Alchemy, Phrenology, and Housekeeping departments
6. Invent Experimental Philosophy!  Joshua Knobe becomes instant Superhero, Philosophers buy new cars and Ipods.

Here's an experiment, test to see if anyone is buying this shit?

Difficult Healh Care Choices

Appalachian Cash Crop

Scientists Screw Selves into Ground or "Step Aside, I'm Running Full-speed AMOK!"

John-Dylan Haynes, a neuroscientist at the Bernstein Center for Computational Neuroscience in Berlin, along with some scientist chums and chumettes, recently ran amok and wound up with brain malfunctioning as he screwed himself into the ground.  He experimented with the human brain's decision-making process.  His team used fMRIs to see what parts of the brain were involved with deciding which choice to choose.    Here's the whacked out results:  patterns of brain activity predicted which choice the person would make as many as seven seconds before the decision was made physically and the subject was cognizant of choosing.  It appears that decisions are made long before the human is even aware of choosing.  Yikes and holy Shit!   We consciously make a decision that has already been made and that we are unaware that it has.  The conscious act is just that an "act", a pretend.  Scaaaary!   If we aren't making decisions who is it inside us that is?  

Tackling by the Hair is Legal in NFL

Autredamus, the Other Seer, prognosticates this weekend's football games.

Objects are closer than they appear.

Toledo at Ohio State - the Toledos will give OSU an early scare by wearing hockey masks in the first quarter - 14-7.  Rest of game is boring - final OSU wins 44 -10.
West Virginia takes on Norfolk State and Forest Service calls for High Alert as couches burn everywhere.  WV loses next week to Dignity U.
Iowa versus the fighting corn dogs of Iowa State -  winner here will be the team that goes easy on the corn and potatoes for bkfast - Iowa State pronounces both words, Iowa and State, correctly to win.
Stanford at Duke - Slide rules rule!  Stanford wins by a factorial of alpha, alpha being the midpoint between the subset of all midpoints and the midpoint of all endpoints, times 3.
Ball State as USF - the fighting balls show up today in an upset, at least some of the fans were upset at all the balls.
ND has been actively recruiting Jesuits, Charismatics, and Mad Monks and it will pay off today in an upset win over Michigan.
If Arkansas if the middle of nowhere then Central Arkansas is the middle of the middle of nowhere. The fighting Sasquatch show themselves and take the day from soggy Louisiana Tech.

The Best Scientific Research Gig Ever!

Recently a lead scientist and a team of fellow scientists (at the University of Pennsylvania)  researched the reason why a cup of coffee leaves a coffee ring on the tabletop.  They used the University's very delicate, very expensive equipment and their many years of high cost education, to study the problem on a microscopic level.  After more time than one would think it would take, they figured out what caused the problem (published elsewhere) and field tested several possible solutions.

Use of great gear, a team of experts to help, weekends off, and now - free coffee!

Breaking News!!! NASA Busted - Photo of Moon Tracks Fake

Google Earth  Photo of Abandoned Strip Mine on Greasy Ridge, WV

NASA Sandbagging - Starting to Rerun Old Achievements and Studying Themselves!

Reporting about themselves - Danger - Bullshit Zone

Science First Nail in the Coffin, Reckless Misuse of Metaphors

Scientists have found a New Solar System so unlike our own that at first glance it seems almost impossible it could exist.  The planets in the new system are packed together as densely as fans in a mosh pit. Five planets sit practically on top of each other as they circle their star, called Kepler-11; a sixth circles farther out. Two of the planets lie closer together than any other known pair of planets outside our solar system.
Debunk:
1. Scientists know what is possible and impossible - not possible!
2.  "fans in a mosh pit" -  we don't have enough troubles already, they're looking for mosh pit Analogs???   What for?  Work on global warming or fountain of youth or something else practical.

Mikileaks into Science' Mashed Potatoes!

Major findings soon to be released by Mikileaks will  uncover the true run-amokery of 21st century science, and take us back to the "Good Ol' Days", when times were simpler (circa 1350)!*
1.  Scientists create more problems than they solve.
2.  The ones they do solve provide solutions to things no one but them care about.
3.  They do it for the spotlight, the lure of fame, wealth,  and celebrity.
*data provided by Mikeypedia.

Nostradamus' Complete Boxing History for Those Who Have Been Asking

Nostrils was forced by his trainer, Squat Saul, to change his style after going 2 and 14 (which included wins over Choir Boy Josephus and Jorge the Mad Novitiate).   Saul instructed him to fight defensively.  Initially the new strategy worked well when he entered the St. Anselm Nunnery Open Competition.  He immediately Won a decision over Ye Olde Mother Adelaide and a hard fought Draw with Sister Skinny Nancy.  The next bout turned out to be his last, suffering a terrible beat down by the Cloaked Wrath, Sister Nicodemus. 

He Never Saw the Big Left Hook Coming

Can't Resist Making Predictions - Nostradamus' Short, Unsuccessful Boxing Career

"Quit Foretelling Your Punches!"

Ah, Sorcery and the Dark Arts!