QED

I Made It to Retirement!

Yes, I don't smoke; I don't drink:  I don't fool around - how am I going to celebrate?  Who Cares!! Ha Ha.

Faster than the speed of light?  Bullshit!

Sinead O'Connor Makeover Suggestions - Vote for Your Fave

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Good Morning Effers

Four guys have found her lovely enough to marry! Holy Shit Batman!!!

This photo has been air-brushed to enhance her looks.

Good MornING!

Part 2, Sledding Adventure

At some point I will discuss the dynamics of my childhood as it relates to playgrounds and companions.  All I'll say is that we played and hung out like kids have been doing since the dark ages.  They don't do that now.  It's neater, better planned, better equipped and supervised.   My generation is fond of saying how the young generation requires helmets and coaches and monitors and protections that we didn't have.  We rode bikes without helmets; climbed on rooftops; stayed out well past dark.  Well the truth is that we weren't any tougher then.  The only ones that say such things are those that survived.  The dead remain silent, may they rest in peace.

One night after dark Tommy Stein (who my Mother didn't like me hanging with  cause he was Protestant and a delinquent) and Herky Burnett (who was non-Catholic but his Dad used to be one and a fallen Catholic beats a pair of Protestants), we headed to the steep ride at Jefferson St Playground, which was designed similar to the desert where Jesus spent 40 days and nights, and its where the Catholic School kids played.  More on that later.

In the middle of the day the incline looked like this, a short unused rock-paved one lane road going from the playground street level to a height of 30 feet where it ended abruptly, seen here on the right.  Length about 150 yards.  A fast narrow ride with no bailout area.  No little kids and no pansies allowed. 

Road, normally.

We'd never sledded down the old stone road.  I had never even considered sledding this hill and none of my friends had ever mentioned it until this night.  It was a popular spot for older kids, Protestant bullies,  as well as the reckless, the damned and soon to be maimed. Tommy dared us and we were bored so we decided to give it a go.  I felt nervous before we even got there.  Would some of the boys I'd traded insults with be there?  I might get a ass whipping.

It was 9 pm or later and very, very  dark.  No one was on the slope.  Curious.  Maybe they'd worn themselves out.  Maybe it got too cold.  In the mid thirties early in the day, the temperature dropped quickly when the sun went down and it felt like ten degrees right now.  We got there and I saw none of my adversaries.  I saw no on else but Stein and Herky and lots of snow and dark and cold and quiet. With no one else around, we were excited to give it a go.

This is how it looked that night, dark, cold, abandoned. 

Merry Christmas!

Heading to Jefferson St. for a Sledding Thrill

Before becoming the Starting QB for Denver, Tebow had a couple years to practice Tebowing, as...

...Holder for the Place Kicker.  "Is this right Coach?"

Some comments on current events

1.  If there are multi-universes and I can get a ticket from say Stephen Hawking or that Nobel fella, then I can claim "the check ain't in the mail; I already paid it."
2.  This may not be true in all cases, but the only fat North Koreans I've ever seen are Kim Jong Il and his kin.  All the others look so skinny.  Maybe its a case for an alternate universe where big baggy, oversize clothes fit everybody.
3. J P posts photos of fabulous looking chicklettes, and we all look forward to those.  However my all time favorite wanton lust (its a sin) bun is Terri Garr and in another Universe she's mine.   Yea, in yet another she leaves me for a younger fellow but what the heck, count your blessings.

She's smiling cause I just asked her "Are you from Tennessee? 
Cause you're the only TEN I see,"

Scientists finally twist themselves in position to kiss their own bottoms!

From Alan Lightman's article in Harpers Magazine - "the Accidental Universe".   The ideas contained within the  eternal inflation theory,  and the string theory, have led to thinking that there are many different and self-consistent universes with startling different properties.  Imagine measuring the length of a line and coming up with a different, yet correct answer, each time.   Imagine throwing a ball forward and having it travel up and behind.   It's as if the laws of nature as we know them do not work.  If true, we cannot identify a single and unique cosmos.  This is why you could say that we dwell in an "accidental universe".  Scientists cannot calculate anything about our universe that is absolute!  They can't figure out anything that holds true.

Kind of renders my Physics final kind of moot don't you think?

Memory - Mid Winter

The shorter days and lack of  daylight, hits me just after Thanksgiving every year, and I go into a hibernating sullenness   My aphorisminess is temporarily out of businessess.  (except for that one.).  Ordinarily I just hibernate but now it is with feeling.  I wallow with 'elan (metaphysical trick, don't try it.)  I bought a full spectrum light bulb that might help if I ever get the energy to get it out of the trunk and screw it in.  

Don't know about Christmas memories but one of my favorite winter memories is looking out the window late at night and seeing the snow covering everything, the moonlight reflecting, you could read a newspaper.  Sometimes the light from the big blast furnaces across the river would give it all a warm fiery glow.  The scene made me feel awed and comforted and after 20 minutes or so I would sink back into my blanket and fall asleep.

 

Suitable jellyfish acquired for EPL Experiment!

Turritopsis nutricul, a jellyfish-like  hydrazoan, is the only animal known to be potentially immortal.

According to Associate Researcher E. Penfold,  "we've rented dozens of these cute little boogers'

I don't tweet but I'm glad Donni @donni does.

• My pessimism has never failed me, but I'm sure someday it will.
• The best thing about telepathy is...I know, right?
• Can I legally change my name to the same name, but with a bigger font?
• Amish murderers get the acoustic chair.
• Sometimes I wrestle with my demons. Sometimes we just snuggle. 
• Saw a werewolf at the bus stop this morning. Or possibly just a very hairy guy. Either way, the silver bullets worked.

EPL Update - Lab is Within Reach of Major Experimental Study!!

According to Executive Director K Kanobi "the pieces are finally coming together.  We've ordered some Higgs Bosun - like particles, to arrive soon.  We are looking at several possible sources of particle acceleration.  We have a volunteer Hominid and are tracking down the appropriate jellyfish.  We hope for a trial run before Christmas" 

Developing News from Experimental Philosphy Lab

Prompted by an investigative report that EPL has been working on a Higgs Bosun Project, Kanoobi Kanobi issued this statement:
We have been waiting for the discovery of the Higgs Bosun to complete one of our most ambitious projects.  Truthfully we were stalling because we knew it was only a matter of time and the particles were essential to our work.  The article in the Sunny Star News and Sports reported hacking into EPL's main computer and finding startling evidence in the Internet Website WWW History file, pictured below. 

Exec Dir K. Kanobi's reaction :  "you can save a bundle buying aftermarket".

Do You Believe in Santa, Holmes?

Hmm, interesting that you should ask Watson.  This is no more difficult to solve than finding my way to my slippers.  There are logical methods to deduce either that he exists or that he does not exist,  and both have merit.  This however renders that line of reasoning less than adequate for a useful conclusion, if not a definitive one.  Moriarty, I believe, has expressed an extremely skeptical bent toward the existence of the Honorable Claus, and I've yet to decipher his hidden motivation in the cause, for it is atypical of him to participate to any degree in behavior brushing against a belief. of any kind.  Inspector Le Strade, on the other hand holds to the affirmative side of the query, and though as a matter of course I would give no credence to the machinations of his mind, in this case let us consider that having maintained service as a detective for so many years, given his lack of fundamental skills or imagination, weight must be added to his claim for the Santa fellow.  Only some kind and generous benefactor would explain his continued employment.  If so inclined I could pursue this case to its conclusion but I infer that ending the narrative at this juncture would not "rain on anyone's parade", so to speak.  More importantly, I do not wish to continue and risk precluding the appearance of a new meerschaum and a pleasant blend of shag under the tree on 25-12..

Third Rail

The early Christians were Jews living and working among their Jewish friends and neighbors, following many of the same customs and rituals (including the Laws of Moses). They were nearly indistinguishable from one another.  No Gentiles, Samaritans, or others were even allowed to become Christian.  Jewish Christians ran the early Church, the community of believers.  The big change began around 40 CE with the admission into the church of the family of the Roman centurion and members of the mixed Jewish-Greek church in Antioch ; plus Paul's pagan converts.  Much more interesting stuff in the article.

From Standpoint:  "Jews, Christians and Judaeo-Christians by Geza Vermes"

Nietsche Niche, Serial Poem Part II, "Sartre a la Cartre"

they is lots of poems
I know some of the topic
But no one else does
Each being cryptically cyclopic
I choose to be enamored of the panorama
so I cover them all
I wake up in the morn
And go at it hit and miss
best worse good bad
who gives a shiss

I’ve made a study
(four courses, 3 betas and a zed)
and I paid my fees
withheld a bit. enuf to say
more poetry, please

Traveled to El Dorado
in the back of an el camino
to get bit by a tseate
not a good time but
made a good rhyme
when I wrote my treatise

Singsong is an art form
developed by a long extinct race
hominids and hominoids alike
whose ears so inclined
to hear only sappy, carefree, sugary
the first and biggest smiley face

nada de malada or evil sublime
Homo Pollyannicus lived it up
till their ears bled in the end
then ensued an utter utmost
nary another, absolute
and forever, total decline
singsong is the legacy,
impaired yet noble call
of a long forgotten race
who as over the mountain
they faded and dimmed
from their race a last noble call
"Nice trip, see you in the fall."

Jesus Christ, what can I say!!!

Grilled cheesus! For Rice Cakes!

Preliminary sketch of Adams Creek Painting, while waiting for Part II of my poem to dry.

Nice Sketch.

How R U Feeling?

Do you believe in Santa?

This is part one (I) of Nietzsche Niche, Serial Poet

this has nothing to do with the main post

Nietzsche the Serial Poet  

So many different kinds of poems
    I'll never be able to name them all
    rhymes and lengths and themes
    ideas lofty, lyrical,  and wee wee small
    schemes and dreams
    contrapuntal and alliteratve
    backdoor scraps and transubstantiation
    blank verse and emily terse line
    illusion allusion so much confusion
    iambic pentameter doth declareth
    against claim or swill
    that I am not even an amateur still 

    so many ways
    we've been doing it yes

    since the cave days
    using a stick a rock some oozes
    whatever the author chooses
    to express to animate to celebrate
    to draw bulls and balls

    ducks and deer and geesy gooses
    to convey whatis and whosis
    using berries minerals dirt and dust

    and yes all kinds of animal juices

Experimental Philosophy Lab renews research contract with Major Sponsor

Makers of Syrup of Ipecac and other fine Emetic, Enema, and Colonic products.

The Bible Says "Scandal begets Scandal" . Rumors enshroud EPL's Credibility and Reputation. Nameless source identifies Graphs as "bargain bin", used Climate-gate Materials.

Most recent photo of Penfold's porch.  It appears that the graphs have not been touched.

No news from EPL since the public announcement on November 23 and this photo of Penfold's back porch. It appears that no progress has been made applying graphical data to the EPL mandates.

Find Your Purpose - Duck!

This is a complicated case where the patron initially enjoyed his job as a pet rock. When there was no longer a need, he moved on to other efforts but found them requiring too much responsibility. We actually gave up and in the process of closing the case when serendipitously we found his true calling. EPL - Find Your Purpose.

happy until abandoned  

takes a lot of concentration and effort

wheeee

Horse Meat Legal In The United States! Ed Sez...

"My business is Booming since that new meat packing plant opened."

Finding One's Purpose (a subsidary of EPL)

I wish they would shut the heck up!

This individual came to us with extreme social anxiety which we were able to attribute to his vocation.  A successful "ecological activist" for nearly 20 years, as he grew older he became less active and became less  enthusiastic.  The number of visitors grew and eventually overwhelmed his sense of well-being.  We placed him with a couple of retired sisters in St Augustine, Fl. working as a "seasonal portico ambiance".  He's in public 8 weeks a year then retires to a nice quiet spot in the attic where he passes the time quietly with a few close associates.  Find Your Purpose.

EPL Fails to Stay on Task, Again - Star Wars Scandal Evolves???

Is Yoda really e e cummings in space drag? 

Marketing Research - Tattoos

Help EPL gather data for its part time work as a Consulting Outfit More or Less, LLC.  If you are an average tattoo aficionado or a first-time tattoo victim,  which artist would you prefer?  Would it matter the nature of the tattoo, i.e. religious motif or secular scary as hell stuff?  A winner of a free deluxe piercing will be chosen at random, as will the site of the piercing.

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Finding One's Purpose - Glad to be of Help

Instead of just squawking and clucking about folks not knowing their purpose I decided to help out.  Here's my first patron, Wally By Golly.  He came to our Practice with anxiety over his role in life.  His personal life was nonexistent but he is not supposed to have any.  His professional life though caused much angst, which in a way was good because we get to charge more for "Angst" than just "Unhappy" or whatever.  We gave him a discount.  At the time he was driving a back hoe for a salvage company.  Well we literally took him out of that seat and put him behind the wheel of a dump truck.  Problem solved and now he is "Vocationally Complete" which is a better outcome than "Happy" somehow.  We can help you too with sliding fees. 

Wally By Golly, Fulfilled Dump Truck Driver

How to Discover your Life's Purpose - 7 questions to ask

Don't waste your time.  If you need to use a webitude checklist to determine your purpose then you ain't got no purpose, nothing much anyway.  - Me

My Lagan Love, Beautiful Song, Here's Lyrics

(Speaking of flotsam and jetsam, don't forget lagan and derelict.  I am derelict and my love is lagan.)

My Lagan Love
(lyrics by Joseph Campbell, aka Seosamh MacCathmhaoil)

1) Where Lagan stream sings lullaby
There blows a lily fair
The twilight gleam is in her eye
The night is on her hair
And like a love-sick lennan-shee
She has my heart in thrall
Nor life I owe nor liberty
For love is lord of all.

2) Her father sails a running-barge
'Twixt Leamh-beag and The Druim;
And on the lonely river-marge
She clears his hearth for him.
When she was only fairy-high
Her gentle mother died;
But dew-Love keeps her memory
Green on the Lagan side.

3) And often when the beetle's horn
Hath lulled the eve to sleep
I steal unto her shieling lorn
And thru the dooring peep.
There on the cricket's singing stone,
She spares the bogwood fire,
And hums in sad sweet undertone
The songs of heart's desire

4) Her welcome, like her love for me,
Is from her heart within:
Her warm kiss is felicity
That knows no taint of sin.
And, when I stir my foot to go,
'Tis leaving Love and light
To feel the wind of longing blow
From out the dark of night.

5) Where Lagan stream sings lullaby
There blows a lily fair
The twilight gleam is in her eye
The night is on her hair
And like a love-sick lennan-shee
She has my heart in thrall
Nor life I owe nor liberty

What Really Happened to Elvis

"I come in Lah..Huv and Pah..Heace"

He was on a secret Space mission for the United Nations.

Ist alles richtig mit EPL? Staff scramble to take advantage of Black Friday Deals and get back on track.

Reports that (EPL) "took the money and ran" is questioned by Director and Staff.  Background - with lucrative grants from a half dozen sources, EPL promised visionary studies into topics that include:  Lucid Dreaming, Lurid Dreaming, Human Propelled Flight, Immortality, and Wet.  The only results published so far relate to Lurid Dreaming.  The notion that research has ground to a halt was put to rest today as Director K Kanoobi  issued this statement:  "Don't confuse buffoonery with chicanery, and as my Mum used to say MYOB.".  Reporters were able to garner more info from Associate Researcher E. Penfold.  "I was given an assignment and I completed it.  I arrived at the designated location @ 5 AM, waited at the front of the line until 10 AM when the doors opened.  I purchased a "Box of Graphs" at a bargain price and returned to my abode.  Graphs make reports look cool."  When KPRk Action News visited the location, it appeared to be a deserted warehouse, raising the question "Is EPL using Bootleg Graphs for their studies?"

E. Penfold's Back Porch (photo courtesy FurtivePix)

This is Not me! It's a cartoon.

Great Thanks to all of You, especially the precious
little ones, and of course The Big One!

Occupy Xmas

Many of the same people that condemn use of the word "Xmas" because they think it is un-Christ like, are the same folks who will shop their greedy, materialistic asses off in the wee hours of the morning,  pushing, and shoving to buy some device or trinket or pastime that they "can't live without".   Don't know about Xmas (which literally means Christ's Mass), but I do believe that Midnight  Madness, Black Friday and similar avaricious acts that we practice, says more about our true beliefs than our silly little effort to ban the word "Xmas".

We believe in...

OCCUPY WALL STREET

Kalle Lasn, Founder and Editor of Adbusters, a radical anti-consumerism magazine, is also the founder of Occupy Wall Street along with his protegee Micah White.  His magazine came up with the suggestion and idea of camping out, the best place to do it, the name of the project, and the date to start.  He may have been very surprised but it actually happened.  The end game was for the protestors to throw a party, vacate the premises, and declare victory.  Police Action preempted any chance of that happening.  For anyone interested in reading more about this social phenomenon, look up "Pre-Occupied" in the New Yorker.  Experimental Philosophers are late to the game but for sociology, cultural anthropology, and political buffs there's plenty of grist for the mill.

Thanksgiving - have an Attitude of GRATITUDE

The carved Maoi Heads of Easter Island provide us with mysterious icons of a culture that flourished more than 600 years ago

Typical array of Maoi Heads with body buried.

While scientists have come to understand much about the statues, how they were constructed, and their significance to the natives, there remain many mysteries.  Excavation has been virtually halted in recent years.  Most of the Heads have bodies which are buried under them.  This has led scientists, most recently a team from EPL to find methods other than digging.  Sneaking past the Preservation Officers while team members distracted them with firecrackers and insults, EPL was able to capture "special optical images" of the heads.  The results stunned the scientific community.

Image using "special infrared zero tolerance heat mapping optics.  Mysteries remain - is this a ceili dance, a step dance, boot scootin boogie, electric slide, guys and dolls chorus?  Is Michael Flatley an alien or from another time zone?  Much research yet to be done.

Why Did Neanderthals Extinguish even though They Lived and Bred with Modern Humans?

Modern Humans and Neanderthals were contemporaries for thousands of years, living together, breeding, sharing many of the same behaviors and genetic material.  In fact nearly all humans today (with small exceptions) have Neanderthal ancestors, genetically speaking.  The puzzle is:  why did we survive and thrive and they completely pooped out as a species?  This is great fodder for the behavioral scientists and pundits but the simple truth is, according to Experimental Philosophy Lab (EPL), Neanderthals had some very annoying behaviors and customs, and as in-laws they were the worst!

they could whistle or holler or hit the wall with a stick ...

Fishing, I knew there had to be something about it that made grown men go out into the cold at 5:30 am.

Lets don't even talk about Ice Fishing!

Humans Hanging by a Thread at Top of Animal Kingdom Hierarchy