Boo

Wonder if he got any candy?

EPL Announces Press Conference as They Finish Major Report on Lucid Dreaming

Dr. Bumpkiss Campbell, EPL Systems Engineer

“The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.” - Groucho Marx

I am a Ghost sometimes

Inspired by Ghosts

I am a Ghost sometimes

not by choice or will
I move amongst them, ghosts
In warmth of noon or eve of day

in wake of morning's chill 

before the light's parade
I never know where I am
never recognize the place
expect to see folks I know
folks I’ve loved, a cherished face
I am not there where I think
No one is near that I expect

if anyone at all
I transmogrify, teleport,
transcend the chrysalis 

to be free of this binding reverie
to find I have gone no where
know no one
am disturbed by my loss
unsettled and restive
no longer trust what I see
or touch or hear.

I don't wish it nor incline
But I am a ghost sometimes.

 Note to you young and/or aspiring poets:  Notice the rhyme scheme is a parabolic meter of aab aab aao aal abc l xox o,  with a double gainer and a half twist.  I have a patent, trademark, and copyright so don't try it or I will knock your dick in the dirt.

My Uncle Spleen Enjoys Helping the Community - He Volunteers Every Year to Check Candy for Tampering

He never said if he found any problems but we only got half our candy back

!

Debunking of Aphorism Attack ? Does Mikey have a Reasonable Explanation for THIS?

Mikey and His Pens: Aphorism Attack

tree full of "used" cats

VOTE for Ron Paul for Something Important!!!

I said BOOO! goddammit.

My Plan to Stop LesZilla is Thwarted by His Big Brother, FreckleZilla

Dog Shit!  All has gone awry.

Setting a Trap for LesZilla

Ha! this'll fix him.

EPL's Major Research #1. - the study of **protean etiology of 'lucid dreaming

Abstract: Does lucid dreaming have en vivre  value (> +1) (thanks 2 Paddy 4 jargon)?  Lucid Dreaming is au courant (enuf  French; we need some Greek words) in mass media and self-improvement (?) literature.  The technique of controlling the action of your dreams can be learned (1).  One of the popular activities is Flying.(2) (Wright Bros 1919). A team of EPL Researchers hypothesized over libations at the Dog and Hair, that I. The ability to fly while dreaming cannot be transferred to dreaming while flying; and II. The ability to Fly in your Dreams cannot be employed to Fly in Reality.*  The team with redesigned Lab Coats, undertook a 4 day study of volunteers from Chamblis County Gov't.   Results: Don't know yet because M. Kanobi left his "Data" in his wife's car and she went out of town for a week to visit her cousin Estelle in Fremont, who has been ill with ringworm.  We'll have the results when she gets back, after much "Analysis of Data."  

OMG, WTF, and LMAO Here we Go!

1. footnotes are required to attribute source, to provide additional explanation, or to make the paper look legit.  2.  I thought it was 1919 but the books say they first flew in 1903.  Check your facts, young researchers. *We used what they call "null hypotheses" which is a good way to chalk up wins in tough research like this, i.e. "never guessed wrong." **Meaning of this phrase will be revealed once the first grant $ arrives.

Aphorism Attack

"We've all seen a cat up in a tree.  Have you ever seen a cat skeleton up in a tree?  Don't worry about saving cats, worry about saving trees." - Me

Kanoobi Kanobi, "Savior of Philosophy" outlines ambitious new Experimental Philosophy Lab (EPL) Plan

Kanoobi Kanobi

Highlights of Kanobi's twelve minute address to EPL

"We...can't ride our early success;we gotta invent new schtick!  Sciences that gets the most funding, publications, books and articles, student enrollment, tv and movie consulting, have the following in common:

1. Unique idea, discovery, or twist around on old find. Don’t go plowing through old shit like cure for the cold, experimental new fuels, etc. Scratch that.
2. Scary, Greedy, Creepy, Lurid, and/or Bizarre.  Must be a stunner that appeals to the philistine side of humanity – e.g. can’t be something as dull as discovery of a new form of H7 antigen, it’s gotta have big schmenga – e.g. scientists discover molecule that writes poetry
3. Carnival potential –  got to be wacky research, discovery of fountain of youth molecule; hybrid potato aphrodisiac; invisibility power within grasp, shit like that
4. Gimmicky Analogies. You need a catchy Madison avenue metaphor or analogy that can be a smashing headline - star no hotter than a cup of capucino; gigantic wave pool discovered in space; stars turn into diamonds; Mel Gibson forgiven by JDL;  exaggerated ludicrous claims
5. Thick Verbiage You must explain the research in thick verbage with latin, greek, and math symbols thrown around, so no one understands any of it EXCEPT the Big Spin – blah blah blah, like a boiling kettle of sasaphras tea, for eg.   
6. Based upon this analysis and the consensus of EPL, we have a plan, including areas of study and all the rest.  It will unfold as time goes on and we get some paying gigs."  

PS:  A clever nickname or mascot might also be useful.

Breaking News - Experimental Philosophy Lab (EPL) Votes on Strategic Objectives

Kanoobi Kanobi, Director of EPL  soon to announce "ambitious, 
amorphous, and aggressive" Plan for 21st Century

Periodic Table - WOW (what the hell is a "noble gas"?)

This is neat!  Check it out - many different features (like Orbitals, which I have no idea what that is, but it's got 'em out the ass. boss) http://www.ptable.com/

My honey is coming over this weekend to play with my Orbitals.

Boskop Man, Does this Explain it?

Have Scientists found Photos to Explain Boksop Man?

Ancient Hominoids Smarter than Us? Boskop Man!!

Boskop Skull, bones, and artifacts.

The Boskop Skull, from a humanoid that died in approximately 22,745 BC, was discovered by two Afrikanner Farmers in South Africa.  Boskop Man had a larger skull than modern humans.  Its average IQ is estimated at 150.  It also had a face with big eyes and child-like features making it seem like a cute pet.   Current anthropology has debunked the finding as "just another human with a fat head".  The skull was probably bigger because the guy was "thick-headed".  Discounting that anthropologists like to piss on a good parade, they may be right in this case.  We consulted 5 Experimental Philosophers who took this to the "Experimental Philosophers Lab and Tittie Club. Four agreed that these people were not smarter than us.  "The evidence is lacking - no remote controls, no lotto tickets, no sign of SAT scores or buffet trays" said J Knube, leader.  The dissenting EP would not comment on the record but had a funny look on his face.

Dear Diary: I ran for my life from LesZilla today...

I hate goddamn monsters!

I hate ZILLAS

Not Godzilla

His Cousin, Les Zilla

Update of Update: Hububble Photo of "Star Stuff (the Building Blocks of Everything)" in the Great Wall of Water in Space

Update: Scientists Discover Largest and Oldest Body of Water in the Universe AND it's full of Mysterious Cosmic Materials!!! 

Photo captured using a special "optical" lens

Update: Scientists Discover Largest and Oldest Body of Water in the Universe AND it's full of Mysterious Cosmic Materials!!!

Here's the original story - Scientists Discover The Oldest, Largest Body Of Water In Existence--In Space  Additional data being analyzed reveal an unusual agglomeration of materials within the Body of Water.  These include aluminum, cork, various polymers, wood pulp, organic matter, a variety of natural and man made elastomers, lead, and fishhooks.   Scientists have not yet reached a conclusion as to the origin or significance of these materials. (Could they be the origin of Life?)

Scientists Discover The Oldest, Largest Body Of Water In Existence--In Space

140 trillion times all the water in the world’s oceans.  The new cloud of water is enough to supply 28 galaxies with water. 

In a related story,  there's plenty of water in the Tri-State area  for plenty of  fun!!

Culture and Society - Sociology, Evolutionary Psychology, Experimental Philosophy, Anthropology and others are squabbling over this one.

Me?  I like girls that laugh at my jokes; wear just a little perfume; and aren't mean people.

The notion of  "Ideal or Preferred" size and shape for women has shifted in many directions over the millennia, and it continues to shift. "Thin" was in for several recent generations and is now shifting back to a "fuller figured" standard.  But it really depends upon who you're asking.   Above is a Bell Curve, a statistical representation of what the society as a whole tend to prefer in women.  About 98% of all preferences fall within 2 standard deviations and this can be called "normal".   Again the shape and size preferences varies for individuals, subcultures, and the group as a whole. At the outer extremes, beyond 2 standard deviations, are very particular and "abnormal"  or "unusual" preferences. 
Special thanks to the Experimental. Philosophers for the use of their lab and maths.  Really special thanks to Autredamus, the Other Seer, for helping the gals with wardrobe changes and applying modesty strips.
 

Today's Homily: Change is constant but eventually we wind up in the same state and place but a little more screwed up, kind of like the early days of teleportation., when you might put a young near-sighted college student into the gizmo and when he comes back he owes $40K in loans and lives in the basement.

Its interesting to study this in the context of  Today with J P Ronan: STONE-WORSHIP and the Great Mandela.  Our ancestors made idols of huge generative stones and worshiped them.  Nowadays we worship getting stoned so we can generate mondo idle time.  - Me
(note to you aspiring aphorists - I've just pulled off a complex, concave, tautological quadro-pun  aphorism.  DO NOT ATTEMPT THIS WITHOUT **PROPER TRAINING and/or IF YOU ARE VULNERABLE TO VERTIGO!)
 **Sign up today for Proper Training ($12 for introductory course) c/o this post. 

Notice

This week's Possibilianism meeting 

has been canceled.  It may be rescheduled.

AOYAOIA - From the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows

" n. a musical flavor found in electric guitar solos that compels you to snarl, squint and bend your spine like a longbow being drawn back to fire a warning shot to your distant ancestors, so they may know that your domestication will not go unavenged."

Illustration by Me

Wall Street Protests Continue - Rich Get Pissed!

He gave me list and a note to send out FU letters, so I did.

Obscure and/or Unpopular Superheroes

He started out working for Sound and Power, a setup crew used by popular acts such as the Rolling Stones, Nirvana, Metallica, and others.  He got fired for his uncanny ability to entangle and set on revenge, turned to a life of entangling.  Many of his feats have been political, taking bribes to bring down political figures such as Bill Clinton, Newt Gingrich, and dozens of congressman and senators, mps, and others.  Sometimes he uses his powers as a prank like the Duchess Of Alba, Cayetana Fitz-James Stuart, marrying Alfonso Diez for no understandable reason except an unpleasant entanglement for family and anyone with a vivid imagination.  His uncle, The Entangler worked for the mob and tangled fire hose after fire hose in the great Chicago Fire before getting caught and sentenced to terminal unraveling for his crimes.

#2 Entangleman

Top 5 Obscure and/or Unpopular Superheroes

#1. The Precipatator

Most famous feat - Woodstock, turning a routine outdoor concert into world famous mud sliding videos, wet t-shirt videos, and biggest ever outdoor urinal. 

Autredamus, the Other Seer, Writes Childrens Song - "I don't know where or how I come up with this stuff., just prescient I guess."

Ba Dup a Daa

The Cacophony Quartet Starring in Random acts of Song

Ba Dup a Daa

Ba Dup a Dough

Ba Dup a Dough

I'm not sure

I don't know

ba dup a da

if this is to

or if its fro

ba dup a dough

if this is come

if this is go

i don't care

and i don't know
Chorus:  Ba dup a dee, hee hee, everyone say wheee, ba dup a dee
hooray for mee

More Golf Tips - from the Golfer's Creed - It Never Rains on the Golf Course.

Glub glub glub

More Golf Tips

Everybody's a Comedian

2. Experimental Philosophy adds clarity to murkiness, and brews Beer of Truth.

scientists make lousy metaphors, referring to umbilical cords and kitchen sponges, then non-sponge all in reference to the same cosmic phenomenon.  Puhlease!  We tossed the question to a group of experimental philosophers to see what they could come up after experimenting for an afternoon.

Experimental Philosophers Data:  Cosmic Frog Eggs 17%, Cherry Pie Filling 22%, Cosmic Candy Buttons 4%, Natural Sponge Marks 0%, Cosmic Bokeh 43% Astronomical Scabies 45%, One of Six Star Trek Episodes where they Run into this kind of Goo 80%.  As scientists we didn't just come with an answer to the question, we came up with Data that goes all round the question with no definite conclusion.  Knube said "Now that's real science!"
Note that numbers do not add to 100 percent.  We haven't a fuckin clue why, we're philosophers for Christ sake. 

Golfing Tip of the Week - to Make the Game More Fun!

Experimental Philsophy Results Postponed Temporarily

Father of Experimental Philosophy Tackles Cosmic Mysteries - Umbilical Cord My ASS

"The notion of the Milky Way being fed by a cosmic array of star clusters working like an "umbilical cord"strikes me as strange.  Plus you got this sponge, non-sponge weirdness going on.  I'm skeptical so's I gathered researchers to work on the problem.  The protocol was to get together some experimental philosophers that I know from work and from the club, and have them test the theories and bs-itrons flying around, and see if they have a better answer".  Surprising results published in next post.

JJ Knube (ka-noob), father of Experimental Philosophy

A Demonstration of the Usefulness of Experimental Philosophy.1. "The filament of star clusters and small galaxies around the Milky Way is like the umbilical cord that fed our galaxy during its youth."

"What we have discovered is evidence for the cosmic thread that connects us to the vast expanse of the universe," says Dr Stefan Keller of the Research School of Astronomy and Astrophysics at ANU.

Australians to Blame for this one

ordinary matter is driven, like foam on the crest of a wave, into vast interconnected sheets and filaments stretched over enormous cosmic voids – "much like the structure of a kitchen sponge."
"Unlike a sponge, however, gravity draws the material .blah blah blah...more wacko scientist metaphors."  JK Knube sez "we'll see if we can clean this mess up."