 |
tea bags flag |
Over the past couple decades in US there has been no lack of knee-jerk jerks with proposals for various Constitutional Amendments, e.g. Ban Flag Burning, Outlaw Guns, Outlaw Immigration, Require School Prayer, make Christianity the National religion, Ban Gay Marriage, Ban Stem Cells, Ban Jail Cells, and on and on. Our Country was founded on Revolution and as we all know, revolutions either work out terribly or eventually go ca-fizzle. The tea bags Party platform favors a never before voluntarily tried, radical approach to government - De-Revolution, or for those who follow semantics, a Re-Revolution, take your pick (though the literature has already been misprinted with "Dre-revolution"). The tea baggers believe that the US has squeezed all the independence, human rights, and freedom possible from the first American Revolution. It's time to throw it in the disposal and get a fresh fruit to suck on for a bit. Here's the Platform (subject to change without notice)
1. Revoke Independence. Tell the UK that we're sorry, we made a mistake and won't do it again. Give us a good slap on the ear and let us back in the house. Besides we don't need a Constitution as long as the Magna Carta is still good.
2. Join the European Union. Instead of competing we can muck it up from the inside and take advantage, wheel and deal direct; pit players against each other; practice magna-duplicity..
3 (optional). Make the EU pansies play real Football for a season or two.
4. Allow Pete Rose into the Baseball Hall of Fame.
4. Allow Pete Rose into the Baseball Hall of Fame.
