Humor on Wife - don't waste the good ones

sHE have colds and sneezes, I make her weaR mask.

She have the poor humor.  I'm easy going nice to all people I see.  "hello, chum",  "let me talk to you, young honeys"  and so forth.  She not laugh much, like when I bump head on door, then, or put shirt on outside in. Not when I make humorous wisecracks like "Dear corn chip love of mine, if you say to me that I am a Rake, then what that make of you, the multiple choose of farm implement - Shovel,  Pitchfork, or the Hoe?"  My ribs bust with the laughing.  She stare with no blinking  of the blue eyes.

the Path Taken (by me) - no way around human object.

Not Wife

Ok wise peoples, provide me the beneficial assistance.  So that maybe my next significant partner will incline my way more times.  Not my fault we unable to mix better, no.  My wife is slow learner, I learned late.  No way we could live the two as one lifestyle we signed up for.  Many, many of the times I explain  "Honey oats, you are used to years of the home cleaning, the carrying of buckets, and taking care of baby behaviors.  For me this is new thing.  It much harder on me. No blame on me.  Please sweet potatoes, give to me that ashtray."  She not get the idea - walked away, carrying suitcase and babies.  Just for reason she is slow learner, yes?